2017 Student Poetry Award

It's having short hair after private school; it's hiding tubes of mascara atop bathroom cupboards; it's two dollar razors; it's not singing happy birthday when you turn thirteen because of thicker vocal chords; it's waiting for people to walk out of the restroom before walking in and then rushing through your makeup; it's the fear of gaining weight; it's the fear of losing weight; it's gaining five pounds on your stomach not your hips; it's dressing androgynous because you can't fill out the tops, and then claiming it's that you just have an avant-garde fashion sense; it's spending too much on makeup because it feminizes, even though you're supposed to be a feminist; it's not being a slutty anything for Halloween; it's thinking about what underwear you're wearing before going to a fitting; it's leaving a group of friends and thinking they're just taking pity on you; it's disliking this handbag because it is wider than your hips; it's not leaving the house unless everything is perfect: scent, look, clothes, and then hating everything that's not; it's not wearing nail polish because your fingernails are too wide; it's wearing glasses because of your rhinoceros horn, even though you have the loveliest eyes; it's checking into school and being called sir; it's going to boarding school, and being asked if you are allowed in the dorm you live in; it's not wearing heels because you're far too tall; it's wearing tiny gloves because it looks like you don't have large hands; it's always being the big spoon; it's wearing crop tops because your stomach is the only part of yourself you like, and yet still feel bloated; it's deleting Instagram comments from people who think you're disgusting; it's associating duct tape with pain; it's having a life expectancy of twenty-eight.