Poem from Hypnosis

(for Peggy Ahwesh)

imagine a listener

a woman diversion sex driven

that which is sick or well in me

separates, I crowned myself

earthquake shatterer poetics king

origin earth admixture

yes, you get it, I had to crown myself open

so open the listener’s whole attention seeps back

pigeons overtake the part of the house

where the roof caved in

other animals coo now from the basement

whole rooms, territory lost, taken over

ever-present the listener and I sequestered and I

in my woman treasure futile form

on the floor holding an electric saw

up over my head, a song emanates from it

power off, in fact you could tell I held nothing

in the vicinity of suggestion, laceration

the failure of writing implied, I realized

to be female and genderless nonmaterial throat

I had to hold the paper in my hand drooling

rub it against my face

lick the blank sheets

with my eyes closed

I thought I saw you

in every word a formula

every word tasted empty, possible

and seeing you live this way

has made a big impression on me

changed for me

each room that I enter

seen through red glass on the factory floor

blue shards, green time of day

the trick is to just keep going

forget how we made it all up

how I’m still here taking notes

though still I have nothing to write with

no implement or tool, I petted an animal

that was not in every sense there either

wrestled with a bear one moment, then a rat

in this process I learned how to speak the terrain

the stand-in for the stand-in

the wrong person persuaded

but I didn’t mind the lapse

being older than the world, thus tasked

I call out to all of you: please hold this appetite

can you hold this bull’s eye

rabbit milk proliferation dream can you please

hold this while I measure, let me at least measure

what space if any we have left