In Their Own Words

Montana Ray on “(soulville)”

Montana Ray holding a toddler


On "(soulville)"

I thought I saw my man hold a gun to my head, it was in the mirror or in my periphery but it was in that venn diagramic num num place we both agreed to.

I wanted dearly to be in relation so dearly when he cooked me what we called hahaha the last supper (fried fish, greens, rum).

The next morning came like a string of crows strung out like a honky bitch above the abortion clinic, have your career, he said all black hoodie and wet eyes, you can put the baby in the palm of my hand and something about an Ethiopian nanny, I got out of the car to throw up but didn't go inside that place, so he drove us away from that place.

The problem was I could keep up with him except by then I was really pregnant and then I had a real baby and I could still keep up with him. And that doctor in the hottub is my ex girlfriend's dad, who is a real doctor and always made an impression upon me by smoking a cigarette, just one, in the hottub on special occasions. In my quiet way, I fucked that whole family.

And do you hear my prayer, Lord? It is always to be less exuberant. I have always been too exuberant to artfully fry an egg.

More In Their Own Words