In Their Own Words
Sara Wintz's “Walking Across A Field We Are Focused On At This Time Now”
Walking Across A Field We Are Focused On At This Time Now (an excerpt)
having experience becomes common
out-of-the-ordinary-thoughts
having given to one's peer group
real or imagined, in list form
to be read as words by others, however uninvited
as like conversations are all the time overheard
real or imagined, between actual persons or otherwise
in the manner of practice or to memorize
as if to necessitate practice to speak
order of operations for conversation with actual person
imaginary by distance, and bearing weight at this time
as if to say, implicates when first spoken
rendered unwieldy by chance inflections
as like a turn of air or spatial turn
away from the practice of rehearsal
having experienced
having spoken in a manner at length
to speak in the manner of address
* * *
i grow tired of waiting for my life to start
samuel beckett dies (1989)
i want to change and come to be more doomed and more
complicated
THE PINK GUITAR is born (1990)
as though stories of others could be any more exciting than
what is one's own complications
serge gainsbourg dies (1991)
as we move through this landscape, the inevitable sky
becomes more blue before becoming gray to black or blue-
black by the reflections of transport lights
marlene dietrich dies (1992)
people are walking down an aisle one by one, clutching bags
as though going somewhere
sun ra dies (1993)
i have loved to be a part
learn from and move forward from
northridge earthquake hits the san fernando valley of los
angeles (1994)
while containing others.
odette samson hallowes dies (1995)
i've been writing away from the twentieth century
* * *
marguerite duras dies (1996)
i've been typing here, staring out a window
jacques-yves cousteau dies (1997)
"i haven't won enough to make this"
benjamin spock dies (1998)
"i haven't changed enough in order to be qualified to write this"
frances jaffer dies (1999)
"i haven't developed enough in order to be complete"
i've already "written" it.
gwendolyn brooks dies (2000)
i've already left and started to make a trail for you to follow
delia derbyshire dies (2001)
and before it's too long we have learned how to say goodbye
From Walking Across A Field We Are Focused On At This Time Now (Ugly Duckling Press, 2012). All rights reserved. Reprinted with the permission of the author.
On "Walking Across A Field We Are Focused On At This Time Now"
I think that this might be the best place to say that I got a 5 on my American History AP test. Sometimes I think about sending WALKING ACROSS A FIELD WE ARE FOCUSED ON AT THIS TIME NOW to my high school history teachers—but I don't know if they would like it.
The poem began in the form of research: Wikipedia searches that I performed for every year of the 20th century. I collected the events of interest to me in a notebook. I was feeling like I didn't fit in and I wanted to make a home for myself. I wanted to do a little research, collect some data, and project myself like a constellation in the sky.
The lyric moments are so much more local: my friends, cliques, group dynamics, memories of my family, moments in my apartment in Brooklyn. Anyone can make his or her own twentieth century. The long poem is a product of that experience, that learning and growing.
Walking Across A Field We Are Focused On At This Time Now (Ugly Duckling Press, 2012)
